


Scars

by DreamingisBelieving



Category: Glee
Genre: First Time, Klaine, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Scars, Season 3, Self Harm, Self Harm!Blaine, Slight Smut, Smut, klaine smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-06
Updated: 2017-06-06
Packaged: 2018-11-09 15:22:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11107326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamingisBelieving/pseuds/DreamingisBelieving
Summary: It's not that he was afraid of Kurt's reaction... Okay, yes, that was exactly it. He never talked to Kurt about this because he figured it to be unimportant and almost embarrassing. Really, what kind of person purposely takes a box cutter to their thigh and rips their own skin open? He's been bullied a few times for it when he used to have to change in the locker room and some guys could see it peak out the bottom of his boxers. They would all him a freak and push him around even more. He was scared Kurt would do the same.WARNINGS: Self harm and mentions of cutting and scars.





	Scars

"Are you sure this is what you want? Like you want to do this?" Blaine asks, breaking off the kiss.

  
"Blaine, look at me," Kurt is sitting on top of his chest, his hair messy from the making out and a sure smile in his bright blue eyes. He takes Blaine's face in the palms of his hands. "I wouldn't want to lose my virginity to anyone but you, okay? I mean it," Kurt gives him a small smile, pecking his lips once more.

  
"Okay," Blaine sucks in a deep breath before leaning up to place another kiss on his lips, before his tongue enters Kurt's mouth once more.

  
Blaine knew Kurt was ready, but he was more scared for himself. He was sure he wanted to lose this to Kurt, but he was scared of one thing and one thing only, but maybe Kurt won't notice, maybe he'll just skim right past the bumpy scars on his upper thighs.

  
He wraps his arms around Kurt, switching their positions so he's right between Kurt's legs. Kurt giggles, cupping Blaine's face.

  
"Let's take this shirt off," Blaine whispers against Kurt's neck. Kurt hums in response as Blaine starts lifting fabric from his torso and tossing it aside, his own shirt soon following both of them lying on the floor in a pile by the door. Kurt starts working on the buttons of Blaine's jeans, but Blaine puts his hands over Kurt's, looking down at their connected hands.

  
"Blaine, are you okay?" Kurt asks, looking up at him, their hands still connected over Blaine's jeans. The curly haired man sucks in a deep breath before nodding slowly, and letting go of Kurt's hands.

  
"Yeah, I'm fine," Blaine puts a small smile on his face, allowing Kurt to take off his jeans, leaving him in his pair of dark blue boxers. Kurt was so close to the scars, that Blaine's heart picked up its pace.

  
It's not that he was afraid of Kurt's reaction... Okay, yes, that was exactly it. He never talked to Kurt about this because he figured it to be unimportant and almost embarrassing. Really, what kind of person purposely takes a box cutter to their thigh and rips their own skin open? He's been bullied a few times for it when he used to have to change in the locker room and some guys could see it peak out the bottom of his boxers. They would all him a freak and push him around even more. He was scared Kurt would do the same.

  
Blaine continues to place sloppy kisses on Kurt's mouth, turning the thin lips red and swollen.

  
"I love you," Kurt whispers, gripping at the back of Blaine's hair, freeing it of his gel protection.

  
"I love you too," Blaine replies, his shaking fingers working on Kurt's jeans button, and zipping them down to slide them off of Kurt's endless amount of legs that Blaine found to be perfect. They were a mile long and were slender and pale. It was one of Blaine's favorite parts of Kurt's body and Kurt knew it too. He helps Kurt shimmy out of them with a little difficulty due to the fact Kurt's jeans were practically vacuum sealed on, his grey boxers coming with, leaving him completely naked. "God, you're so beautiful," Blaine whispers admiring Kurt for a few seconds before going back into Kurt's collar bone. Kurt hums, tilting his head over for easier access.

  
"You're not so bad yourself," Kurt teases with a small chuckle that Blaine could feel through his lips that were sucking on Kurt's neck.

  
The countertenor puts his hands on the waistband of Blaine's boxers, that were damp in the crotch, and starts to tug down. Blaine closes his eyes, allowing himself to get lost in the feeling of Kurt's skin against his lips and the feeling of his hips against his fingertips.

  
Deep down he knew Kurt wouldn't react badly, but after being bullied, attacked, and ridiculed for so many years, the impossible seems possible. He was hoping Kurt would just skim past them and not notice them or not say anything, but he didn't.

  
When Blaine's boxers were tossed aside, Kurt ran his hands up Blaine's thighs. His eyes go wide and he let out a gasp at the feeling of bumps on his thighs. Blaine tries to ignore it, but Kurt wasn't letting that happen.

  
"Blaine," He whispers softly. Again, Blaine tries to ignore it, like this wasn't happening, but it was. "Blaine," He says more sternly, flipping up so he was sitting up, and Blaine was sitting across from him. His eyes drift down, ignoring Blaine member and looking at the fading scars on his thigh. He runs his slender fingertips across them slowly, as if tracing them and memorizing them. "Blaine?" He looks up, meeting Blaine's gaze.

 

"Kurt, it's not important," Blaine shakes his head, going to kiss Kurt once again, but the auburn boy wasn't having it.

  
"No, talk to me," Kurt replies, rubbing Blaine's cheekbone with the pad of his thumb. Blaine sighs heavily, peeling back the messed up covers to his bed and sliding under, Kurt soon following. He lays down on his side, facing Kurt. Kurt does the same, taking Blaine's hands in his own.

  
"When I was a freshman, before I switch to Dalton and before the attack, I had a friend. His name was Ryan. He was so nice, but he had his own issues. He's the only person that would talk to me after I came out because he was also gay. He had a bad life. He was basically given a trash bag and was told to make a castle out of it," Blaine starts, looking down at their joined hands. "One day, we were sitting at lunch and it was really hot outside. He always wore long sleeves and he was sweating horribly. So I asked him to take it off so he didn't stroke out. He refused and when he started to look worse, I took his arm and pulled up the sleeves of his hoodie. He had scars all over his arm, new and old,"   
Kurt can't think of anything to say, so instead, he presses his lips to Blaine's hand, letting him know he was still there and to continue.

  
"That's when he told me he cut himself because it was the only was he felt better. After that we never talked about it, but I couldn't get the thought of it out of my head. So, one day one my way home from school these group of guys kept harassing me, making fun of me and calling me every name in the book. they shoved me around and made me feel horrible. When I got home, I ran upstairs, already crying. I was laying on bed when it hit me. If it worked for Ryan, maybe it could work for me. I took one of my dad's old box cutters from the junk drawer and I cut myself for the first time," Kurt bites back a sob, but still had tears running down his cheeks. Blaine ignored it and continued.

  
"He was right, it felt so much better, so I didn't stop. I would do it at least once a day, sometimes twice if my day was bad. Then we went to the Sadie Hawkins dance together and after the attack, I did it even more often. It got incredibly addicting. I switched schools to Dalton and it didn't get better. I would cut for stupid reasons, because I was just looking for a reason to do it. I wanted to do it constantly. I met you then,"

  
"Were you doing it after we met?" Kurt asks, rubbing up and down Blaine's arm carefully.

  
"Turns out being the Warbler's lead and pretending to be a dapper Blaine was a lot harder than it looked," Blaine nods, tears gathering in his own eyes. Kurt closes his eyes and bites his lip, squeezing Blaine's hands tightly. "But, after we started dating, I got so busy with everything and everything seemed so much better. I didn't stop, but it became a bit easier to quit and eventually I did it. Our three month anniversary was my one month," Blaine admits.

  
"Blaine, why didn't you tell me?" Kurt asks, tears now falling down his cheeks.

  
"I was scared. I was so scared that you would leave me because what kind of person does that?" Blaine says quietly, his voice cracking with emotion.

  
"Someone that's hurting," Kurt replies, wrapping an arm around Blaine's waist and pulling him in tighter. "It's okay to hurt, Blaine. It's okay not to be okay," Kurt says, pecking the top of Blaine's head. Blaine nods slowly, choking on a few sobs.

  
"You're the first person I've told,"

  
"Oh, honey," Kurt starts, as Blaine lays his head on Kurt's bare chest, cuddling into Kurt's chest. "You should not have had to do that alone. It's not fair. God, I wish I knew you earlier so I could have helped you," Kurt admits, rubbing up and down Blaine's back.

  
"I'm sorry," Blaine sobs, wrapping his arms around Kurt's torso.

  
"No, baby, don't be sorry. You didn't do anything wrong, okay?" Kurt replies, sitting up and taking Blaine with him to meet his gaze. He takes Blaine's face in his palms and presses his forehead against his. "You're so strong, Blaine-" This remark makes the said boy scoff, rolling his eyes, trying to break from Kurt's grasp, but he wasn't having it. "I mean it. You are the strongest person I know, and you always will be. Keeping this from everyone and dealing it by yourself, that's strong. You stayed strong and I'm so happy you did. I just love you so much, and I don't wanna see you hurt, okay?"

  
"Okay," Blaine nods, leaning in hesitantly to press a kiss against Kurt's lips, making the both smile. Kurt opens his arms and Blaine practically falls into them, breathing in the scent of Kurt and only Kurt. "I love you too," Blaine whispers.

  
"So, April 15th is when you stopped?" Kurt asks, breaking the hug to wipe at Blaine's tears quickly. Blaine cocks an eyebrow and nods.

  
"Yeah, why?"

  
"Because we're going to make that a special date. Every month me and you are going to do something to celebrate, okay?" Kurt gives him a teary eyed smile.

 

"Kurt, I didn't-"

  
"I don't care what you meant, because this is a big thing for you. I just wish I could have helped you through it, but now I know, I'm gonna be here," Kurt assures him, pressing his lips to Blaine's once more. Blaine breathes a sigh of relief.

  
"I kinda ruined the mood didn't I?" Blaine chuckles.

  
"Yeah, but that's okay. Let's just go downstairs, make some milkshakes and watch some movies, okay?" Kurt sniffles, a smile on his face.

  
Blaine nods. "That sounds awesome," He admits, a grin on his face.

  
"Alright, now come on," Kurt chuckles, pecking Blaine's nose, before they both crawled out of bed.

 


End file.
